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There goes my happiness, all in one snap.

So many hurtful things I've heard today, I just don't want to even talk for the rest of today. God it was awful.

Way to tear me up, way to break me down, way to completely become self righteous..

Some things just don't work out, people are selfish at times without the intention of doing so, I mean just look at me. Completely torn up and lost in my own thoughts. Tried enjoying some time with my friends, but through the entire time on, I kept hearing those hurtful things and eventually just called it quits. I can't seem to make up my mind over anything, is this true or is this true. I... I just can't really do anything right now, I'm wallowing in self-pity again as selfish thoughts return.

Stupid? Yes.

Repairable? Maybe not.

Could've prevented? I myself nope. But if people watched what they said at times, this wouldn't have happened.

I try so hard to make friends, only to be brought down by them. Almost as if it's a sign that I was never meant to have any.

Y'know, I'm fed up with this. Everyone complaining about their god damn problems and saying they can't change. That's utter bullshit. We all can change, we just don't fucking care enough to even try, and I'm tired of it! If you're going to fucking complain to me about your damn problems, I won't lend an ear if you don't fucking try to change. I swear to god, I had to suffer so much just to get where I am today and this is my reward? A summer full of depressed people? Why can't I have a nice summer for once? I don't want so many things on my mind and I especially don't want to hear about things that really tick me off. I don't need all this shit shoved in my face every damned day of my life. God have mercy I tried to help, only to be rewarded with misery.

Y'know, as broken as my faith and religion are, I'm still praying. Praying to god that there will be mercy brought down from the heavens one day. I already have enough family problems and I already have enough things to worry about. Why can't I enjoy my summer huh?! Why can't everyone just try to change, no one has to suffer, and I'm tired of being the damned teddy bear for everyones problems. Don't you people ever think about other people? How I'm affected when you tell me certain things? I'm extremely sensitive yet you all just love to step all over me and shove it in my face that I can't change you. I can't take everything you understand me?! I'm not your emotional punching bag and I really try to help and talk  to everyone, only to be rewarded like this.

I want to get as far away from today as possible, I really don't need to hear repercussion from anyone. This is how I'm feeling and this is my rant; this is also my damned journal, if you have a problem with it then don't even bother reading it. I wanted to only use my journal for updates and other fun things but apparently this problem has become so damned big that I actually have to write about it!

Quit abusing my friendship and quit exploiting me. I don't need to suffer through another depression, I'm just going to keep praying that my family comes back together one day and that I'll be given mercy, I don't want to suffer anymore. There is a god up there in my eyes and I swear that I will die believing in him. My family was Catholic and I admit I used to be Catholic as well, I lost my religion to depression and had to suffer to return to religion, I'm currently agnostic and might be stuck like that. I'm still praying, for everyone, and for mercy to be given to my family, for all that my family has suffered over these years.

There goes my happiness, all in one snap.

So many hurtful things I've heard today, I just don't want to even talk for the rest of today. God it was awful.

Way to tear me up, way to break me down, way to completely become self righteous..

Some things just don't work out, people are selfish at times without the intention of doing so, I mean just look at me. Completely torn up and lost in my own thoughts. Tried enjoying some time with my friends, but through the entire time on, I kept hearing those hurtful things and eventually just called it quits. I can't seem to make up my mind over anything, is this true or is this true. I... I just can't really do anything right now, I'm wallowing in self-pity again as selfish thoughts return.

Stupid? Yes.

Repairable? Maybe not.

Could've prevented? I myself nope. But if people watched what they said at times, this wouldn't have happened.

I try so hard to make friends, only to be brought down by them. Almost as if it's a sign that I was never meant to have any.

Y'know, I'm fed up with this. Everyone complaining about their god damn problems and saying they can't change. That's utter bullshit. We all can change, we just don't fucking care enough to even try, and I'm tired of it! If you're going to fucking complain to me about your damn problems, I won't lend an ear if you don't fucking try to change. I swear to god, I had to suffer so much just to get where I am today and this is my reward? A summer full of depressed people? Why can't I have a nice summer for once? I don't want so many things on my mind and I especially don't want to hear about things that really tick me off. I don't need all this shit shoved in my face every damned day of my life. God have mercy I tried to help, only to be rewarded with misery.

Y'know, as broken as my faith and religion are, I'm still praying. Praying to god that there will be mercy brought down from the heavens one day. I already have enough family problems and I already have enough things to worry about. Why can't I enjoy my summer huh?! Why can't everyone just try to change, no one has to suffer, and I'm tired of being the damned teddy bear for everyones problems. Don't you people ever think about other people? How I'm affected when you tell me certain things? I'm extremely sensitive yet you all just love to step all over me and shove it in my face that I can't change you. I can't take everything you understand me?! I'm not your emotional punching bag and I really try to help and talk  to everyone, only to be rewarded like this.

I want to get as far away from today as possible, I really don't need to hear repercussion from anyone. This is how I'm feeling and this is my rant; this is also my damned journal, if you have a problem with it then don't even bother reading it. I wanted to only use my journal for updates and other fun things but apparently this problem has become so damned big that I actually have to write about it!

Quit abusing my friendship and quit exploiting me. I don't need to suffer through another depression, I'm just going to keep praying that my family comes back together one day and that I'll be given mercy, I don't want to suffer anymore. There is a god up there in my eyes and I swear that I will die believing in him. My family was Catholic and I admit I used to be Catholic as well, I lost my religion to depression and had to suffer to return to religion, I'm currently agnostic and might be stuck like that. I'm still praying, for everyone, and for mercy to be given to my family, for all that my family has suffered over these years.